Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more academic work. How do you think children should spend their free time?

It is often argued that
children
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are provided with a lot of leisure time, which must be utilised by indulging in some educational tasks.
However
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, in my opinion, it is best for
children
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to get involved in some recreational
activities
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because it will aid in improving their level of Health, and in building social skills.
This
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essay will discuss
that
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why recreational
activities
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should be chosen over
Academy
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academic
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tasks.
Firstly
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, when
children
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adopt educational work they may make their
life
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lives
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stressful and more hectic.
In other words
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,
children
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may find
such
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activities
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burdensome which is certainly not good for their fragile mind and body.
Therefore
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, another pastime activity should be arranged for them
such
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as
,
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outdoor games which
involves
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involve
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physical strength. What is more, it will freshen up their mind and
as well as
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will boost their potency.
For instance
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,
according to
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a survey conducted in Solan on over 500 students under the age of 12, it was found that
children
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who regularly participated in cycling, running or sports, had better health status and active
brain
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brains
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.
Secondly
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,
children
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who constantly indulge in games, have to interact with others or they have to plant strategies.
This
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is to say that,
while
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playing they will gradually develop social skills and confidence.
As a result
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, it will enhance their academic performance, and the chances of their employment in the future. To exemplify, several schools in Northern India have included 'sports' as a mandatory subject for
the
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students
upto
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up to
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10th standard. The obvious reason for
this
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is to boost the confidence level in them.
On the other hand
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, scholarly studies make
children
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less social which may hamper
the
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their
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overall
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growth and development.
To conclude
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, spare time can be better utilised by participating in physical
activities
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which has great benefits to offer the
children
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with
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as compared to educational work.
Moreover
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, recreational activity will improve their health and
overall
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growth.

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task achievement
Make sure your main points are explained more clearly.
coherence
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task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic.
coherence
The introduction and conclusion are present, which is good.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic work
  • free time
  • physical activities
  • creative pursuits
  • community service
  • imagination
  • self-expression
  • volunteering
  • literacy skills
  • social skills
  • emotional development
  • outdoor games
  • sports
  • dance
  • playdates
  • broadens knowledge
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