IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Technology plays a vital role in scientists life. Do you agree or disagree?

#technology #role #scientists #life
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It is seen by many people that young generation is spending a plethora of
time
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 and
money
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 on the latest
fashion
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such
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 as clothing and advanced
techonology
the practical application of science to commerce or industry
technology
technologies
. I completely agree and believe that because of an influence of the advertisements and trend to follow
celebraties
a widely known person
celebrities
 would be the reasons behind it.
Firstly
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, having advertisements
on
Suggestion
for
 latest
fashion
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usually make
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usually makes
 a great impact on young people.
In addition
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, people, nowadays, watch many adverse on the television and social
media which
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media, which
 influence them to purchase unwanted things. By doing
this
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, young generation not only waste their valuable
time
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, but
also
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 expense a good amount of
money
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 which they are not aware of.
For example
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, if teenagers see 'Holister' branded
tishirt
a close-fitting pullover shirt
T-shirt
 on
instagram
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 while scrolling up, they would
immediatly
without delay or hesitation; with no time intervening
immediately
 visit to the website and order it without even considering a price tag.
Secondly
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,
fashion
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 trends have become more common nowadays among young people by using the online applications for shopping.
Moreover
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, teenagers usually do e shopping from their smart devices and waste a lot of
time
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 and
money
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. Generally, it is believed that women
follows
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follow
 the
celebraties
a widely known person
celebrities
 from the television shows which prompt to make them a bill of expensive cosmetic products to look smart and gorgeous like them.
Finally
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, young people
also
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 spend a lot of
money
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 to be a
first
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 person to purchase a latest device not for in the technical terms, but to show off in the society.
Furthermore
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, young people often buy advanced
techological
based in scientific and industrial progress
technological
 devices to compare with their friends. In the Western countries,
for instance
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, having a latest apple device is very innate among the teenagers and
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also sometimes
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also, sometimes
 they pester their parents to purchase advanced devices which are not
affortable
that you have the financial means for
affordable
 and
usable
Suggestion
used
 at
this
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 age. In conclusion, it is irrefutable to say that young people consume more
money
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 and invest their quality
time
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 on the latest
fashion
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ketan Dudhat on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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