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Band 4

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. Reasons? Negative or positive development?

#parents #pressure #children #development
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Presently in the world parents are expecting their children to meet their high achievement expectations and push towards ambitious goals. It is stipulated by the
parents
Suggestion
parents'
 desire to make their own dreams come true through their children and negatively influences children’s development. Contemporary children are driven to succeed not only academically, but in sports and their hobbies because their parents want them to follow parents’ dreams and ambitiously high standards. Usually children are not asked what and how they want to perform, but rather pressed to follow their parents’ model of success. Children’s own desires,
on the contrary
Linking Words
,
are not taken
Suggestion
do not take
don't take
 into consideration in the objective setting. Some studies show that up to 60 percent of students have chosen their major while being pushed by their family. I believe
this
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 trend is a negative development because pressure to accomplish parents’ goals worsens child’s health. When children
strive
Suggestion
strives
 under pressure to make other people’s dreams come true, they are exposed to long term childhood stress. It triggers higher risks of coronary disease, anxiety, depression, as long as the poor physical health outcome in the adulthood. Most studies show that it is critical that youngsters set and achieve their goal themselves without interference of their parents because only
this
Linking Words
 way they can be responsible for the outcome and develop emotionally and socially. In conclusion, modern parents expect their children to high-achievers
as a result
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 of their own success models and
this
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 negatively influences children’s health and future.
Submitted by Maria on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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