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Writing Samples
Band 5

Most people agree that money cannot be happiness. Why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve happiness?

#people #money #happiness
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It is considered by many
people
Use synonyms
 that happiness cannot be fulfilled by money. In my opinion, it is hard to understand the meaning of contentment and other aspects of life can play a vital role in creating joy. It is challenging to define enjoyment on the basis that it means differently to each individual.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 who are having financial troubles, dream that
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 economic freedom will make
him
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 happy, a very rich man dreams about a happy family.
Similarly
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, a couple
does
Correct pronoun usage
who does
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 not have the ability to give birth would desire to have a child.
On the other hand
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, many families from the third world find more children to be their burden.
This
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 is why glee is not a simple word that we can describe with a neat and precise definition. One way that
people
Use synonyms
 can gain pleasure is through their work.
For example
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, a doctor working as a volunteer in an underdeveloped country may have very little income but the reward of helping
people
Use synonyms
 and following passion brings elation itself.
In other words
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, happiness can be found by doing the job you are good at.
Finally
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, another factor influencing exhilaration is having supportive and loving
people
Use synonyms
 in one’s life.
While
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 money can bring the opportunity to enjoy pleasure, a few
people
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 would enjoy
Correct pronoun usage
it with
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with
Change preposition
on
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 their own. Being surrounded by a caring and loving family is considered by many
people
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 to be more valuable than any amount of money. In conclusion, happiness is difficult to describe since it is particular to each individual and, in my opinion, I find that euphoria can be achieved
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many aspects
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 life.
Submitted by Tony Duong on

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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • subjective
  • universally
  • cultural differences
  • psychological factors
  • satisfaction with life
  • emotional balance
  • personal achievements
  • social connections
  • fulfilling relationships
  • sense of belonging
  • sense of purpose
  • physical health
  • well-being
  • financial stability
  • mindfulness
  • gratitude
  • positive thinking
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