IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Both the poor and the rich find accessibility into University difficult. Do you agree or disagree?

#accessibility #university
With the increasing level of competition, it is getting really difficult to get admission into universities. I agree that Irrespective of the
socio-economic
involving social as well as economic factors
socioeconomic
 status, young lads are facing great difficulty due to cut-throat competition.
This
 essay shall discuss the same in detail.
Firstly
, with the introduction of digital technology in Universities, starting from online release of
cut-off list
Suggestion
the cutoff list
cutoff list
 to release of names of
selected candidate
Suggestion
selected candidates
the selected candidate
, it is really difficult to sabotage the
transpaency
permitting the free passage of electromagnetic radiation
transparency
 in the process.
Although
 it would be unfair if we do not credit the plethora of
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
 freshmen have to put to get through the cutting edge competition, but the limited number of seats
make
Suggestion
makes
 it even more stringent.
Secondly
 the level of infrastructure and financial aid needed for managing increasing candidate
applicaitons
the act of bringing something to bear; using it for a particular purpose
applications
application
 is not sufficient. Due to
this
 the
eligilble
qualified for or allowed or worthy of being chosen
eligible
 candidates
also
 have to suffer.
For instance
 the culture of digital classrooms is increasing the
money which
Accept comma addition
money, which
 can be used for scholarships is liquified to making the classroom quipped with projector, those extra funds and seats are quashed to improve the class quality. So to conclude, I would say that I agree that
its
it is
it's
 really difficult to manage university education owing to poor management of resources by government authorities that are not making sufficient education fund or improving the
infrastructre
the basic structure or features of a system or organization
infrastructure
 to incorporate
rising bunch
Suggestion
a rising bunch
 of eligible candidates.
However irrespective
Accept comma addition
However, irrespective
 of
socio-economic
involving social as well as economic factors
socioeconomic
 status, one who proves his metal in the competitive world is the one who succeeds.
Submitted by Sakshee dhawan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: