IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#first #car #british #roads #year #million #vehicles #alternative #forms #transport #laws #control #ownership
In present time, there is significant growth observed of cars
in
Suggestion
on
from
 the roads.
Therefore
, it
have become
Suggestion
has become
had become
becomes
is becoming
 essential to find out
alternative mode
Suggestion
an alternative mode
 of transport as well as stringent law should be made. I partially agree with
above mentioned statement
Suggestion
the above mentioned statement
.
This
 essay will discuss, why it is required to opt different mode of transportation and implementation of a strict
rules
Suggestion
rule
. Admittedly, there are many deficits of utilization of personalized cars. Out of all the most anticipated one is, traffic jam. As more and more cars will run on the roads there is merely a possibility that, roads might get busy and
hence
, have to wait for long hours to reach at your desire place.
Therefore
, if people utilize public transportation there will be less car on
roads
Suggestion
the roads
 and if there is no log jam they can reach their destination quite earlier.
Furthermore
, many cars on
roads
Suggestion
the roads
 will result in increase pollution.
In addition
 to it, car pooling can be the effective approach which an individual should follow.
Government
Suggestion
The government
 should implement
struct
rigidly accurate; allowing no deviation from a standard
strict
 rules like Odd-even in order to minimize the cars on the road which will eventually, beneficial in terms of pollution.
Nevertheless
, As people will not own personalized
vehicle
Accept comma addition
vehicle, then
then
 they have to schedule their timings according to
a buses
treat badly
abuses
, in which individual is going to travel.
However
, if there is own vehicle, despite of waiting they can travel at their own convenient time. In conclusion, the essay discussed
,
Accept space
,
 It is mandatory for government to implement strict rules or create awareness, due to
log-jam
any stoppage attributable to unusual activity
logjam
 and increase in pollution.
However
, adjusting the
time according
Accept comma addition
time, according
 to public transport is still an issue.
Submitted by Palak Patel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance on
  • regulate
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • public health
  • sustainable development
  • alternative forms of transport
  • car ownership
  • balancing benefits and drawbacks
What to do next:
Look at other essays: