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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
A numerous number of people's lifestyle has changed during recent years and nowadays they spend most of their daytime working rather than resting and making opportunities for their leisure.
This
 issue has both positive and negative points which in my view its drawbacks outweigh benefits. Decreased leisure time for different members of a family can cause so many challenges especially children. In
this
 way, people do not have adequate time for their free times and do not pay enough attention to children's issues.
For instance
,
firstly
 when both parents work long hours a day, they may lose their concentration on children’s studies at school.
Secondly
, children will not be monitored well in terms of their
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 towards others that cause harmful effects on physical and mental health.
This
 manner will impact on relationships between family members.
On the other hand
, people have to combat in a wide competition with others to get a job or project. For winning in
this
 arena, everyone should increase the working hours that can cause some effects on people's mental health and make them so exhausted after a while.
For example
, there are many studies which have shown that loosing job may decrease one’s confidence as a job has an important role in terms of social and financial aspects.
As a result
, just like any other thing that can have both sides, but because of the problems mentioned above, being a hard worker may influence people's lives more in a negative way and people should work and rest equally for themselves to have a better life.
Submitted by shghygh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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