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Band 6

Some people think that economic progress is the only way to measure a countries success, while others think that other factors can be used to measure a countries success. What are these Factors? Which do you think are most important?

#people #progress #measure #countries #success #factors
The success of a
country
 can only be evaluated
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 its economic advancement over the years,
according to
 some people. Others argue that the remaining factors excluding the above can be used
instead
. In my opinion, the most relevant factor that determines how successful a nation is
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is its number of educated citizens. Economics is undoubtedly one of the top signallers of the successful condition of a
country
. A booming economy is owed to the contribution of both government and the
country
's inhabitants, it indicates the effort and the resulting profit, as quantified by the
country
's assets and cash at hand. Parameters
such
 as the gross domestic products, imports and exports,
gross
Correct word choice
and gross
show examples
 profit, among many other things,
showcases
Correct subject-verb agreement
showcase
show examples
 how good the government is with
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
country
's resources and how much it can be trusted by external investors willing to entrust their money with them for business.
However
, economics is only one out of the many other things that could be put into consideration when estimating a nation's worth. The health sector,
for example
, can be used to gauge how seriously the leaders of a
country
 take their citizens.
Also
, there's education, which in my view, is the most important feature to look out for when trying to find out a
country
's achievements. The percentage of educated citizens in a
country
 will somehow have an influence on other sectors.
For instance
, a
country
 that has a literacy rate of 90% can be predicted to contain individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are more than capable
to represent
Change preposition
of representing
show examples
 the
country
 well in other sectors, including the health and economic sector that was mentioned earlier. In conclusion,
although
 every sector has its own unique needs which should be looked into, I believe that more attention should be put on education as its success is often evident in the others.
Submitted by Amara on

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Overall, the essay has a clear structure with a good balance between introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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