More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills.

#parents #children #computers #tablets #technology #skills

For the

last

few years, many parents

are relying

Suggestion

have relied

on technology

such

as computer and many gadgets in order to let their young ones to learn something new or to keep them busy.

This

trend has plus as well as minus points to children.

However

this

leads to extraordinary topics that are often discussed nowadays.

To begin

with, it is true that allowing children to play

Suggestion

with

electronic gadgets will introduce them with the latest technology and developments. It is essential for them to be aware of the current technology based games. Other than that,

this

activities

Suggestion

activity

keep

Suggestion

keeps

children busy and occupied, as well as give some free time to parents, especially when both parents are working.

Besides

, parents

are no longer have

Suggestion

no longer have

are no longer having

to monitor their children since they would be playing indoors.

On the other hand

, using mobile devices has a negative impact on children’s health. A recent survey conducted by the World Health Organization, accord that using electronic devices for long durations can damage children’s eyesight, apart from that, when they play violent computer games it

also

impacting their mental health. It has been observed that children who have more than two hours screen time, have difficulty in sleeping and unable to start their

day with a fresh mind.

In addition

, spending many hours on tablets and computers if allowed by parents, made them unsocial and unfit to interact with others. They likely cannot connect with real life situations and may grow up to be

Suggestion

antisocial.

Therefore

, children nowadays often become

victim

Suggestion

a victim

to depression and insensitive to their surroundings In conclusion, the disadvantages of allowing children to play with electronic gadgets are far greater than the benefits. It could

damages

Suggestion

damage

their mental and social life.

Submitted by Kinley on Mon Jul 06 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more parents are allowing their children to play on computers and tablets as they think that children should learn technology skills.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

People today are more concerned with owning material possessions than with developing friendships and family relationships. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Students leave high school without learning the way how to manage their money. What are the reasons and solutions of this issue?

Today more people are overweight than ever before. What in your opinion are the primary causes of this? What are the main effects of this epidemic?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory in high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children).