IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification.

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Nowadays,more and more university students intend to learn some
subjects
Use synonyms
 differently rather than major only. There is no doubt that it is useful to get in touch with various knowledge to meet the needs of current society. Personally speaking,I completely agree with
this
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 point of view and I believe that learning something different could be better than giving all their
time
Use synonyms
 for qualification,which can be supported by the reasons as follows.
Firstly
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 and foremost,when you are a student at university, apparently, you have enough
time
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 to complete the tasks of the main
subjects
Use synonyms
. For most students,
however
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,even more than 80% of freshmen just spend less than 40% of their
time
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 and attention on studying what they need to learn. Oppositely,Their spare
time
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 be used to play video games or just hang out daily.
secondly
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 ,Learning some different
subjects
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 not only contributes to making sufficient use of their
time
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 but
also
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 brings numerous benefits to them. To be more specific,getting new skills,
for example
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, doing some manuscript or medical skills can substantially enhance the quality of their work and daily life.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that some practical knowledge can't be learned by paying attention to the book only.
For instance
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, communication skills are indispensable after you graduate from college. You couldn't express your mind correctly ,
thus
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 , causing an uncomfortable work experience without it What 's more, a string of abilities can't
also
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 learned from the paper only,
such
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 as emotion control, way to use working applications and so on.
According to
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 the annual report of the Australian government, almost 70% of employers believe that there is a solid relationship between individual ability and learning from others. With all the points above,the conclusion can be made that learning about different things rather than the main
subjects
Use synonyms
 only is necessary for a student's career
as well as
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 daily life.In
this
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 case,parents and employers should give some tips or advice to address the importance of it, and the university should work to
further
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 improve the ability to learn outside.

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Accuracy
Consider revising sentences that contain errors or are unclear, ensuring clarity and accuracy in your expression.
Sentence Structure
Make sure to avoid overly long sentences that could confuse the reader. Break them into shorter ones for clarity.
Organization
Use paragraphs to structure your essay more clearly, separating different points into distinct sections.
Supporting Examples
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments, thereby enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.
Language Use
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency.
Topic Understanding
You’ve clearly addressed the essay topic and presented a well-considered view.
Structure
You’ve made effective use of an introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay coherently.
Argument Structure
Good effort in trying to use different arguments to support your viewpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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