more and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. what are the reasons for this? what can be done to solve this problem?

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It is true that
large number
Suggestion
a large number
large numbers
of animals are
extincting
Suggestion
nowadays and part of them have already died out.
This
Linking Words
is mainly because of poaching
on
Suggestion
of
rare animals.
Linking Words
However here
Accept comma addition
However, here
are a number of possible solutions which can be implemented to protect endangered animals.
To begin
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with, the main reason for
this
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problem is a result of global warming.
In other words
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, it causes ocean acidification, which negatively effects on marine life.
Also
Linking Words
loss of natural habitat is a consequence of climate changes. What
is more acts of hunters play
Suggestion
is more acts of hunters playing
does more acts of hunters play
has more acts of hunters played
are more acts of hunters playing
have more acts of hunters played
are more acts of hunters played
is more acts of hunters play
vital role in
extinction
Suggestion
the extinction
of rare animals, as they kill them for commercial purposes. Current survey carried out at Colorado University has revealed that more than 100,000 of African
elephant
Suggestion
elephants
were hunted by poachers in 2018.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are
ew
a quantifier that can be used with count nouns and is often preceded by 'a'; a small but indefinite number
few
effective ways to solve the problem of
animal’s
Suggestion
the animal’s
dying out.
Firstly
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,
government
Suggestion
the government
governments
should implement
strict law
Suggestion
strict laws
against hunting on rare animals and selling it on
black market
Suggestion
the black market
.
Linking Words
Also if
Accept comma addition
Also, if
high
Suggestion
higher
fines for buying products from endangered animals were introduced, demand for them would decline by 76%.
Secondly
Linking Words
, we ought to protect natural habitat by way of creating preserves and stop deforestation. According to the latest publications, 6,500 square
kilometers
a metric unit of length equal to 1000 meters (or 0.621371 miles)
kilometres
of Amazon Rainforest were cut down in 2019, what has led to
final extinction
Suggestion
the final extinction
a final extinction
of Spix’s
masaw
long-tailed brilliantly colored parrot of Central America and South America; among the largest and showiest of parrots
macaw
.
Finally
Linking Words
, humanity must take action
about
Suggestion
on
global warming in order to stop dying out of nature,
as it harms to
Suggestion
as it harms
animals and us. In conclusion, while
extinction
Suggestion
the extinction
of animal species is a serious threat to
biosphere
Suggestion
the biosphere
and environment, there are a number of steps that can be taken to solve
this
Linking Words
issue.
Submitted by Karina Boyko on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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