Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

For the
last
few decades, a great amount of changes have been made in the army service of almost every nation. Fortunately, the majority of them considered military service as a necessary action for high school graduates.
While
I agree with the statement that
apply
Verb problem
apply
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each
country
should prioritize
soldier's
Correct article usage
the soldier's
show examples
function as their important policy for males, I argue that females should not join the military inevitably. First of all, there are some advantages of having an army program for young men in the
country
.
This
benefits both youths and the
country
. On the one hand, new soldiers will be developed physically and possibly widen their circle of acquaintances.
Additionally
, generally speaking, army circumstances are more likely to help youngsters to mature.
On the other hand
, it is believed that a sense of patriotism will bloom inside soldiers and
this
will help governments to ensure the future of their countries.
Although
the workforce of the military of the region is one of the most essential parts of the
country
's security, including women in
this
field unavoidably is both ethically and historically wrong. Most of the time, males of the
country
or tribe have been a main force often because of their physical significance compared to females.
For example
, during World Wars, men fought with invaders at the front and women assisted them with medical support at the back line. In conclusion, in my opinion, providing the military as an obligatory service for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young men is advantageous for both the region and the youngsters.
However
, I have an opposing position for involving women in
this
field.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to substantiate your arguments with more persuasive examples and evidence, particularly when discussing the roles of men and women in the military.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures and transitions for a more sophisticated and flowing essay.
Introduction & Conclusion
You've effectively introduced and concluded your essay, presenting a clear thesis statement and summarizing your main points well.
Logical Structure
The essay is logically structured, with each paragraph addressing a distinct aspect of the topic.
Supported Main Points
Your main points are supported and developed, making your argument more convincing.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Compulsory
  • Military service
  • Conscription
  • Patriotism
  • National security
  • Social equality
  • Discipline
  • Physical fitness
  • Life skills
  • Job training
  • Infringement
  • Conscripts
  • Gender equality
  • Mandatory
  • Economy
  • Education system
  • Labor market
  • Civil service
  • Alternative forms
  • Balanced view
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