IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

n the past, lectures were used as a way of teaching large numbers of students, but now with the development of technology for education, many people think there is no justification for attending lectures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#n #lectures #numbers #students #development #technology #education #people #justification
Traditionally, the teacher gives
lectures
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a large number of students as their way of teaching.
However
, because of many
advance
Fix the agreement mistake
advances
show examples
technology
Change preposition
in technology
show examples
 that
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 invented,
approach
Add an article
the approach
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 teaching changed. The majority of society suggests that attending
lectures
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 just a waste of time. I disagree with the statement and
this
 essay will decipher various reasons for my standpoint.
To begin
 with, we all know that there are many sources of information available on the internet, just one click and it will be given to you,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 can be searched via
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
, YouTube etc.
However
, not all of us could understand it without the help of professional teachers.
This
 can be illustrated by my own experience, I tried to take a
Masteral
Correct your spelling
master's
 Degree in Nursing
through
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online, but I couldn't understand any of the
module
Fix the agreement mistake
modules
show examples
 given to me without the guidance of the professor.
Additionally
, attending
lectures
 with many students
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them to participate personally with others,
therefore
 socialization develops
while
 you are present
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the lecture room.
Moreover
, lecturers are highly educated
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 been through a lot of examinations to become a reliable source of information and how to deal with the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 in person.
For instance
, they know if the pupils
struggling
Wrong verb form
struggle
show examples
 with some aspect of the subject, of
course
Add the comma(s)
course,
show examples
 they will pay attention to where you are weak
contrast
Change preposition
in contrast
show examples
 to the data you get without explaining
further
. In conclusion,
although
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
 of technology in education has been invented, there
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 no better than attending
lectures
 with many pupils.
Submitted by Mirasol Britania on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay does not fully address the task. You should explore both the advantages of lectures and the benefits of technology, and clearly state your position.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure to introduce your position clearly at the beginning and summarize your points in a concluding paragraph.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: