IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, while other people think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the Internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.?

#people #travel #countries #information #tv #internet
Considering the ongoing diversification in our society, people are now more interested to broaden their prospects about cultures of different nations. There are two contrasting views with regard to accessing other cultures. The
first
 one is people need to visit other countries to know other countries vividly whereas the other one is to access the
information
 about other cultures through the medium of
Internet
 and TV. I will examine these two contrasting views and add my comment on them.
Firstly
, a small part of people has the thought that going abroad to the foreign countries, perhaps, is not a bad method to learn other countries ’culture. The reason is that visitors can contact with the resident through communication
Nonetheless
, it is undeniable that travelling abroad is really expensive for most people and the time in the trip is not enough for visitors to obtain
information
.
In addition
, for most ordinary employees and students, they cannot afford the travelling fees.
As a result
, having an oversea travel is not a common choice.
On the other hand
, some people argue that why we should pay extra money on travelling when we get
information
 with television and
internet
. It is unquestionable that advance technology, including
internet
 and television have all sorts of
information
.
For instance
, with the help of
internet
 we can travel across the world. People who wish to visit difficult access continent,
such
 as Antarctica, but it would be difficult for them to travel
such
 continents due to harsh weather.
Thus
, they can obtain all kinds of knowledge with the click of a button.
Furthermore
, televisions have different channels and customs 24 hours 7 days a week without any cost. In conclusion, Despite the availability of a number of resources on
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 to learn about any foreign destination, I believe, physically presence is required to have a deeper understanding about cultures and incidents.
Submitted by Gulrukh Shodmonkulova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • immersive
  • interactions
  • virtual means
  • cultural nuances
  • language acquisition
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • sustainability
  • virtual tours
  • documentaries
  • sophisticated
  • realistic representations
  • comprehensive understanding
  • financial status
  • carbon footprint
  • digital resources
What to do next:
Look at other essays: