Some people think that environment problem should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally Discuss the both the sides and give your opinion

It is a fact and it's high time and be serious about environmental
problems
.
Environment
Replace the word
Environmental
show examples
problem
is now
global
Add an article
a global
show examples
problem
and
this
needs to
take
Wrong verb form
be taken
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
seriously.
When many
Rephrase
Many
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suggest that the entire
world
needs to unite and work on solving
this
global issue, but some still believe that it should be solved nationally first.In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will be discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views and conclude my view on the said subject. Environmental
problems
are rising all over the
world
and it is a serious situation for
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
of us.It is
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
problem
now, I personally believe that the entire
world
needs to unite to solve
this
pandemic. Developed countries like
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, China, Russia,
India
Correct word choice
and India
show examples
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
to unite and work on how to prevent these
problems
. And what can be done to solve
this
problem
,
For example
, America has the most advanced technology to prevent forest fires,
heavy
Correct word choice
and heavy
show examples
snow
storm
Fix the agreement mistake
storms
show examples
and
thus
they can help other countries to prevent the same
problem
.There is a saying that "HELP OTHERS TO HELP YOURSELF".
This
can be solved by providing
meeting
Fix the agreement mistake
meetings
show examples
on an international level, Sharing ideas,
developing
Correct word choice
and developing
show examples
new technologies.
This
provides a wide range of
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
to each other.
While
on the other hand
, I don't believe that
this
problem
can be solved on a national basis.Researchers suggest that environmental
problems
will take another 50 years to heal even if an entire
world
comes together.
thus
it is hard for one nation to handle
this
.Dealing
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
problem
national
Change the word
nationally
show examples
puts
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
on
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
of modern technologies. In a nutshell, I conclude that
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
problem
is not
one
Correct article usage
a one
show examples
or
two day
Add a hyphen
two-day
show examples
problem
.It will take ages to solve
this
pandemic and
hence
it's not the cup of tea for one nation to deal with it.So I strongly believe that environmental
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
should be solved globally.
Submitted by KUNAL DESAI on

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task response
Ensure that the essay directly addresses the prompt given. Develop the main points in a more balanced manner, presenting arguments for both global and national approaches.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating a more cohesive and coherent essay structure, utilizing clear topic sentences and logical transitions between ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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