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Band 4.5

Many people think that money is important to achieve happiness. What is the importance of money to happiness? Give reasons for your answers and include examples from your experience.

#people #money #happiness #importance #answers
It is often debated whether
money
 can bring
happiness
 in your life. It is not always necessary that a rich
person
 is happy: you can buy a lot of things with
money
 but
happiness
 is something which cannot be bought. One can feel
happiness
 while sipping a cup of tea sitting
in
Suggestion
on
 their balcony or reading a favourite book;
therefore
, in my opinion,
money
 is not directly related to
happiness
. A rich
person
 who has
money
 can buy all the materialistic things and may seem to be
happy but
Accept comma addition
happy, but
 it does not imply that a poor
person
 is not happy. A
person
 who is always busy earning
money
 and travelling for business hardly gets
time
 to spend with his family;
as a result
 neither he nor his family is happy.
On the contrary
 /
By contrast
, a poor farmer is happy with less
money
 because he spends
time
 and enjoys meals with his children.
In addition
, there are many people suffering from health issues due to loneliness, depression because they have no one to share their thoughts and feelings with. Some of them are so busy working that they hardly get
time
 to talk to their parents or close friends. On the flip side, a
person
 who lives with their parents and has friends is able to cope up
in
Suggestion
with
 bad
time
 quickly. It is very important for every one of us to interact with someone whom we love because it gives us internal
happiness
 and satisfaction that there is someone who cares for us. While I admit
money
 is
important it
Accept comma addition
important, it
 has no meaning in some aspects of life.
Money
 is required to fulfil our basic needs like shelter, food, clothing, etc.
but
Suggestion
But
 it is not the utmost factor which can constitute
happiness
. Parents, family, friends are more important in a
person
’s life to give internal
happiness
 and they cannot be bought with
money
.
Submitted by Arnab on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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