IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Due to the development and rapid expansion supermarkets in some countries, many small, local businesses are unable to compete.Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #businesses #people #closure #business #death #communities
As a result
 of the huge growth of supermarkets in some countries, many local businesses have died out. Some people argue that without local business, local communities will not exist. In my opinion, even though the closure of regional enterprises may bring some difficulties to the local community, it will not bring their existence. In the modern society, there are many supermarkets in all the towns and cities. People love to shop in the supermarkets because They are providing more discounts and coupons to customers which attract the people.
On the other hand
 it is more convenient to buy everything in one place which is easy and save a lot of time for the shoppers. In additional they are handling good customer care service.
For example
, they give customer return policy which we can return damage item.
However
, Lack of traditional retail stores in a locality may pose some problems for the local population.
for
Suggestion
For
 instance People have to travel to the nearest shopping centre to get the items. Which is more expensive and time consuming activity compared to getting the items from local shops.
In addition
 to
this
, in case of any emergency, when people do not have much time to waste to get the item, lack of local shops may put them in more trouble.
For example
, if some visitors turn up unexpectedly, the presence of small stores nearby will help people to treat them well. In conclusion,
although
 the closure of regional shops may affect the local population negatively to a small extent, it will not bring their existence.
Submitted by arun kumar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: