IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do u agree that the advantages cars being outweigh the disadvantages?

#cars
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is certainly true that cars become an indispensable part of modern life. Undoubtedly, our life
become
Suggestion
becomes
 more convenient by using them.
Although
 there are myriad of merits of them, but it has demerits too. I totally disaccord with that the cars
prons
in favor of (an action or proposal etc.)
pros
 outnumber the cons. In the following paragraphs, I will explore why I disagree with
this
 statement.
To begin
, pollution and traffic congestion are the major pressing problems of that vehicle. By using them, we can go anywhere in a few
time
Suggestion
times
 and it makes our life so easy.
In contrast
, it eventually increases traffic
zams
a locally circumscribed place characterized by some distinctive features
zones
,
Consequently
 accidents occur too much and it is the one of the substantial reasons of pollution.
For instance
, a recent survey has revealed that 2% of
population
Suggestion
the population
 are
died
Suggestion
dying
 due to accidents in a one day just because of heavy traffic on roads.
Moreover
, cars generate obnoxious gases in the atmosphere that deplete the ozone layer. People know
this
 machine is
unroadworthy
, but they are using it deliberately in
a
Suggestion
an
 abnormal way.
A
Suggestion
An
 article is published in Newstime that due to
unroadworthy
 vehicles, a hole has created
in
Suggestion
on
 Ozone layer.
Thus
, using these is the major contribution factor of polluted air as well as
significant cause
Suggestion
a significant cause
significant causes
 of crowd on
roads
Suggestion
the roads
. Apart from that, manifold health ailments occur due to them,
such
 as heart problems
,
Accept space
,
Asthma, Obesity and
manymore
Suggestion
many more
.
Nowdays
Suggestion
Nowadays
 citizens are using cars rather than walking and running to go to
anywhere whether
Accept comma addition
anywhere, whether
 distance is small or large. Additional, the serenity of walking and running decreases interaction of people with each other. Most of
the young
Suggestion
the younger
 generation has
facing
Suggestion
faced
 obesity due to lack of running. In conclusion,
although
 there are miscellaneous advantages despite of that disadvantage effect people in a disaster way. So I firmly disagree with that
advantages
Suggestion
advantage
 of cars outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by Ankita attri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: