In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important.
In recent years, the elderly have been appreciated in many countries.
However
, the younger generation is more influential in other nations. Both have merits but I am personally of the opinion that despite the benefits that the younger ones fostered, Linking Words
population
should have gratitude towards the older people Add an article
the population
due to
the fact that they bring about a lot of advantages to daily life.
On the one hand, the younger generations have played an integral part in creating many cutting-edge inventions in the world. Those Linking Words
community
have the ability to think and make their ideas come true for the sake of exerting efforts and creativity. Change the determiner
communities
Therefore
, to satisfy the demands of the individuals in the ameliorated world, manufacturers should have to recruit a large majority of the youth to boost the labour productsLinking Words
higher
. Rephrase
apply
For instance
, many Asian countries currently tend to find young human resources to work for them to raise their sales.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, the older, who have a lot of experience and profound understanding about many extents play a vital role in increasing the economic values. When recruiting the old age, companies do not need to train them anymore because those society have devoted all their lives to contributing to the growth of societies. Linking Words
Furthermore
, Linking Words
this
convenience helps a large number of managers of enterprises save time and effort Linking Words
for
training new employees. Take an example, the older staff in some developed nations often do the task effectively and better than others.
In conclusion, I think the younger generation holds a greater importance in our community. Their performance can predict the fate of a nation. They will be standing in leadership roles, involved in crucial decisions, and shaping the future. The older generation passes their expertise and morals to a young person, which better prepares them to manoeuvre countless changes in the future society.Change preposition
in
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task achievement
The main points are relevant and address the prompt. However, make sure each paragraph directly supports the main thesis clearly. This will help to make your essay more focused and improve clarity.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples that directly support your arguments. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly comprehensible. You can achieve this by reducing overly complex sentence structures and vocabulary, which sometimes obscure your main points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one to enhance the logical structure. Transitions between paragraphs would improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be more impactful. Try to restate your main points in the conclusion more clearly and connect them to a broader context.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and clearly discusses both viewpoints on the importance of old age versus youth.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, and there is a logical structure. The paragraphs generally support the main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the English language and uses a wide range of vocabulary and grammatical structures.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?