Some people think thaqt children's free time must include educational activities otherwise they will waste their time. What is your opinion?

Nowadays, one of the things more concerned from the parents'

perspective it´s

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perspective, it´s

for sure the

education

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given

for

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their children. Parents need to be able to teach them what it´s bad and good, I truly believe that it´s essential that kids have an early

education

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and naturally some punishments.

Suggestion

early

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education it´s

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education, it´s

necessary for the kids. That

education

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will provide the kid to have an early awareness of the planet as well as how the real world works. If done correctly the children will be presented with a lot of benefits that can dramatically change his future.

For instance

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, children from Japan are taught in one other way compared to western countries. They from the

first

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years of school they will be learning certain types of manners as well as how to approach different sorts of people. And I believe there are a lot of benefits to have

this

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type of

education

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, benefits which can

capt

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keep

kept

the attention of western countries.

However

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, to be able to distinguish the wrong to the

right it´s

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right, it´s

crucial for the parents to execute punishments. Punishments that will allow the children to grow as a person.

For example

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, punishments

such

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as retiring a basic good of them like a toy or even a console. That simple act will be able to teach that the wrong action made before it was worthless.

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Thus they

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Thus, they

will not make again. To sum up, I believe there is all to be gained

with

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early

education

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, due to the different variety of benefits that

this

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early awareness can give

for

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the children. In my eyes approaching the

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generations with Japanese

education

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can be one way the develop our population in order to develop as well our society.

jennifer costa

Jul 8, 2020

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

289 words

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