IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Tourism industry enhances employability of the residents and hence improves their financial conditions. Do you agree with this statement?

Over the years
tourism
Use synonyms
 has emerged as a prominent sector. Many
countries
Suggestion
countries'
 economies largely depend on the
tourism
Use synonyms
 sector. It is irrefutable that it is not only an important contributor to GDP of many
countries but
Accept comma addition
countries, but
 has significantly increased the standard of living of
inhabitants
Suggestion
the inhabitants
. In the following paragraphs, I intend to discuss about its economic advantages. To being with,
development
Suggestion
the development
 of
tourism
Use synonyms
 leads to the advancement of the surrounding area. It requires better infrastructure,
such
Linking Words
 as construction of better roads, extending railway tracks, efficient mode of communication.
This
Linking Words
 reformation attracts many big and small businesses. Who wouldn’t like to tap the unexplored opportunities? Government and private business both make huge investments in uplifting the entire area.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon creates many job opportunities for the local people.
Tourism
Use synonyms
 industry consists of chain of sectors
such
Linking Words
 as hotels, transportation, food, clothing, entertainment. The expansion of these sectors brings tons of growth prospects for the residents, not only economically but socially too.
Secondly
Linking Words
, tourists are more interested in learning about the regional culture.
This
Linking Words
 gives encouragement to the local businesses like food, arts, tourist guide, creating income generating avenues for housewives and older people too. Local people gain a lot from their interaction with tourists as they
also
Linking Words
 learn foreign languages and about their culture.
This
Linking Words
 arouses their curiosity of learning and empowering themselves with new skills and knowledge. Residents start paying more attention towards education leading to
development
Suggestion
the development
 of better learning facilities. We have many boarding schools in hill areas offering excellent education not only to the locals but to children across the nation.
Finally
Linking Words
,
tourism
Use synonyms
 is no more a seasonal industry these days. People do seek a quality time from their busy schedule and plan a few excursions regularly.
This
Linking Words
 motivates local business to offer better facilities to attract more and more tourists. In
nutshell
Suggestion
a nutshell
, I pen down
emphasizing
Suggestion
to emphasize
 the vital role
tourism
Use synonyms
 sector plays in
development
Suggestion
the development
 of
local community
Suggestion
the local community
local communities
 by empowering them with more resources to become financially sound and stable.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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