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“The young generation of teenagers is less well behaved than the previous generations of teenagers.” Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#“the #generation #teenagers #generations
Nowadays, life has changed dramatically
due to
 technological developments and
globalizations
Fix the agreement mistake
globalization
show examples
, which has impacted greatly on how people live, interact and communicate.
Therefore
, it is true that many people, especially older people believe that the behaviours of the young
generations
 of
youngsters
 these days are worse than the preceding
generations
 of
teenagers
.
While
 I agree that some
teenagers
 are extremely well-behaved, I believe that the behaviour of the young
generations
 of
youngsters
 nowadays
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
worsen
Replace the word
worse
show examples
 than the preceding
generations
 and the reasons will be covered in
this
 essay. On the one hand, a number of
youngsters
 are strongly aware of their responsibilities in their family and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. They are more intelligent, more responsible and more well-mannered. These offsprings have made a great contribution to the countries
such
 as inventing new technology to assist humans in working, volunteering financial support for the poor and protecting the environment. Not only maintaining the culture and good values of the previous
generations
,
youngsters
 nowadays are devoting their life to
serve
Wrong verb form
serving
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 their country.
On the other hand
,
however
, most of the
teenagers
 have a tendency to be less well-behaved than the preceding
generations
. One commonly cited reason is the impact of the Internet on
teenagers
. The young
generations
 have a great opportunity to connect with the Internet, which
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a large number of detrimental information, videos and games. Many
youngsters
 are addicted to these things and become isolated from the world outside.
Consequently
, they turn into anti-social individuals and commit serious crimes. Another reason for the bad behaviours of
youngsters
 is the lack of care from parents. In modern life, working parents are always busy with professional duties, which leaves them alone
little
Change preposition
with little
show examples
 time left for child-caring responsibilities.
Therefore
,
youngsters
 can hardly distinguish between socially acceptable and accusable behaviours, which make them easily make mistakes
such
 as acting less polite and respectful to others or they can be poisoned by harmful lifestyles
such
 as violence or impoliteness. In conclusion,
although
 there are still a large number of
teenagers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are well-behaved,
it is clear that
 the young generation of
teenagers
 nowadays is worse than the previous generation.
Submitted by Hương Mai on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific technological contributions by young individuals or cite studies regarding internet addiction among teenagers.
task achievement
Ensure that your reasons for the behavior changes are distinct and well-explained. In your second body paragraph, explain more on why the absence of parental guidance has such a strong impact.
coherence cohesion
Clarify and organize your main ideas effectively. While you have made clear arguments, the essay would benefit from more precise structuring to highlight the distinction between well-behaved and less well-behaved teenagers.
coherence cohesion
Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance cohesion. This will help guide the reader smoothly through your analysis.
coherence cohesion
You've successfully included an introduction and conclusion, clearly summarizing your stance on the topic.
task achievement
Your essay provides a balanced perspective by acknowledging both sides of the argument. This approach strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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