At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #outweigh

It is believed by many people that nowadays, the

population

of youngsters living in some countries is

comparitively

in a relative manner; by comparison to something else

comparatively

higher than the elderly people residing there.

Although

, the large

number

youth

signifies the growth and economic development of that country, with the hike in working professionals, the employment opportunities need to be increased. I strongly believe that if we are able to overcome these

affects

property of a personal character that is portable but not used in business

effects

, the increase in the

number

youth

would be beneficial. One evident

benifit

financial assistance in time of need

benefit

of having more

number

of young

population

is to enhance the country's workforce as well the defence.

Moreover

, the youngsters are more effective in performing a task using new techniques than old people. To illustrate, the 'One Child' policy in China has resulted in the decline of the

number

youth

as a result

, their military sector has degraded as compared to India,

who's

of which person?

whose

millitary

of or relating to the study of the principles of warfare

military

professionals are increasing daily.

On the other hand

this

rise in young

population

has

also

resulted in high unemployment rate.

Consequently

, the unemployed people tend to involve in various criminal activities that can have a serious impact on our society.

Further

, the

elderly people

Accept comma addition

elderly, people

with their experience and profound knowledge can guide the

youth

towards

right direction

Suggestion

the right direction

and instill them with morals.

However

, with the intervention of government, various job opportunities can be created to satisfy the youngsters. To conclude, by providing various job opportunities and inculcating the young

population

, we are able to mitigate the

affects

property of a personal character that is portable but not used in business

effects

related to their rise.

Therefore

this

will result in enhancing the economy of the country and its development.

Submitted by Rhythm Vohra on Thu Jul 09 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic composition
economic dynamism
dependency ratio
social services
pension systems
technological adeptness
innovative workforce
national savings
educational demand
employment opportunities
crime rates
economic disparity

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, people now wear Western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than traditional clothing. Why? Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays museums and historical sites are mainly visited by foreign tourists instead of locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more? Write at least 250 words.

You are work working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to ask your manager about this. Write a letter to your manager. In you letter explain why you want to take time off work give details of amount of time you need suggest how your work could be covered while you are away

Writing Task 2 People eat more processed food now than in the past. Task 1: what is the reason behind this? Task 2: what effects might people have by this?

In many countries, people now wear Western clothes (suits, jeans) rather than traditional clothing. Why? Is this a positive or negative development?