IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school, Do the advantages of this outweight disadvantages.

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Professionals say that studying a new
language
Use synonyms
 from primary
school
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 will be more beneficial for the student's learning development than secondary
school
Use synonyms
. I agree with
this
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 statement because learning a
language
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 as early as possible makes it easier for children's brains to recognize. In
this
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 essay, I will explain why the advantages surpass the drawbacks. Teaching pupils a new
language
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 from
such
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 an early age will help to reduce
brain
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 confusion.
This
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 means that our brains will be trained to know two different languages simultaneously.
For instance
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, in primary
school
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, their teacher will excessively use English,
while
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 at home their parent will mainly use their mother
language
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. Because of
this
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, the children's
brain
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 could identify that different places use different languages. As an impact of that, they are identifying many vocabularies, learning the right grammar, and pronunciation because they get used to both languages. The
brain
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 will adjust the
language
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 based on the place and the people.
Furthermore
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, they will not only depend on one
language
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 but slowly become experts in both. On the other side, children who already depend on their national
language
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 in primary
school
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 and at home,
then
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 are forced to talk in a foreign
language
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 will be faced with a hard situation. As a clear example, when their teacher in secondary
school
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 talks in an unknown
language
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, their
brain
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 will first translate it to the one they know.
Then
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, they will do the same thing to respond.
This
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 will take some minutes because they have to pass the bridge of translation. In an extreme case, they will be more focused on being an expert in the
language
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 than understanding the course.
Moreover
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, their academic achievement might be badly affected. In conclusion, the advantage of understanding, and speaking a foreign
language
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 from an early stage
such
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 as primary
school
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 is useful for the young age's learning process because it avoids the
brain
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 disorientation. From
this
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, they will become a
language
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 expert faster than others, and help their
school
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 achievement if they need to switch to a different
language
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
While your essay maintains a good flow and logical structure, you could improve coherence by organizing the main points more clearly. Consider separating different ideas into distinct paragraphs to enhance readability.
task achievement
You have made a complete response to the task and provided a clear opinion. However, strengthening your ideas with more detailed, specific examples would provide stronger support for your arguments.
mechanics
Remember to double-check your use of articles ('the', 'a') and some minor grammatical issues. Addressing these small inaccuracies will improve your overall clarity and precision.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively states your opinion and sets up the essay's argument, which provides a clear starting point for the reader.
task achievement
You demonstrated a good understanding of the task by covering the advantages and disadvantages, and provided a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and restates your position, which helps to reinforce your arguments.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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