Nowadays, young people admire sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It is true that youngsters today usually refer accomplished athletes to as their exemplary model to become.
However
, their merit in
sport
does not guarantee their quality in other aspects of
life
.
Therefore
, I would argue that
this
is not totally a positive trend. On the one hand, sportsmen bring certain merits to our younger generation.
Firstly
, through their extraordinary achievement, juvenile people can consider them as an aim to attain later in their
life
.
For example
, Tom Haley, the Olympic medalist in Men Diving, admitted that he wanted to follow the athletic career because he wanted to be as successful as his childhood diving idol.
Secondly
, playing
sport
Suggestion
a sport
sports
does wonders for peoples' health obviously. By admiring a
sport
star, our young people are more likely to take up the genre of
sport
Suggestion
the sport
sports
he or she is playing. Thereby, their physical health progresses
accordingly which
Accept comma addition
accordingly, which
is of paramount importance in anyone’s
life
.
On the other hand
, the over-admiration may pose some downside on young adult development.
First
and foremost, notwithstanding some
sport
Suggestion
sports
stars may be savvy in their career, they may involve in certain scandals
that is
may cause a disillusionment in the young mind. We can see
this
with Lance Amstrong,
for example
, who was considered as a legend cyclist of Tour la France competition. He ended up arrested for drug abusing to boost his performance.
Furthermore
, youngsters may only focus on going after their idol’s illusion while they downplay their education at school.
As a result
, they may end up with no academic background and fail to develop their career later in their
life
.
Therefore
, I totally agree that
this
is a dangerous development. In conclusion,
although
the admiration of young people for popular sportsmen does wonders their development in sportsmanship, I do believe that the downside of
this
trend outweighs its counterpart.
Submitted by Dios Dios on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • admire
  • role model
  • excellence
  • hard work
  • dedication
  • cheating
  • misconduct
  • critical evaluation
  • guidance
  • positive influence
  • negative influence
  • inspiration
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