Nowadays, young people admire sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #sports #stars #development

It is true that youngsters today usually refer accomplished athletes to as their exemplary model to become.

However

, their merit in

sport

does not guarantee their quality in other aspects of

life

Therefore

, I would argue that

this

is not totally a positive trend. On the one hand, sportsmen bring certain merits to our younger generation.

Firstly

, through their extraordinary achievement, juvenile people can consider them as an aim to attain later in their

life

For example

, Tom Haley, the Olympic medalist in Men Diving, admitted that he wanted to follow the athletic career because he wanted to be as successful as his childhood diving idol.

Secondly

, playing

sport

Suggestion

a sport

sports

does wonders for peoples' health obviously. By admiring a

sport

star, our young people are more likely to take up the genre of

sport

Suggestion

the sport

sports

he or she is playing. Thereby, their physical health progresses

accordingly which

Accept comma addition

accordingly, which

is of paramount importance in anyone’s

life

On the other hand

, the over-admiration may pose some downside on young adult development.

First

and foremost, notwithstanding some

sport

Suggestion

sports

stars may be savvy in their career, they may involve in certain scandals

that is

may cause a disillusionment in the young mind. We can see

this

with Lance Amstrong,

for example

, who was considered as a legend cyclist of Tour la France competition. He ended up arrested for drug abusing to boost his performance.

Furthermore

, youngsters may only focus on going after their idol’s illusion while they downplay their education at school.

As a result

, they may end up with no academic background and fail to develop their career later in their

life

Therefore

, I totally agree that

this

is a dangerous development. In conclusion,

although

the admiration of young people for popular sportsmen does wonders their development in sportsmanship, I do believe that the downside of

this

trend outweighs its counterpart.

Submitted by Dios Dios on Fri Jul 10 2020

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

admire
role model
excellence
hard work
dedication
cheating
misconduct
critical evaluation
guidance
positive influence
negative influence
inspiration

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Nowadays, young people admire sports stars though they often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The world is consuming natural resources faster than they can be renewed. Therefore, it is important that products are made to last. Governments should discourage people from constantly buying more up-to-date or fashionable products. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

If an individual acts in an anti-social way, such as committing a crime, who is to be blamed: society or the individual. What causes begin such behaviour? Who should be responsible for this?

Some business observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to lack interpersonal skills needed for communicaion with their colleagues. What could be the reason for this? What solution can help address this problem?

People who live in large cities face a range of problems in their daily life. What are the main problems people in cities face, and how can these problems be tackled?