The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future

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Nowadays,

people

start to lose

health

over

time

for several reasons, The median standard of population

health

is probable to be reduced in the future from what is now, and I completely agree. One of the main reasons is that food quality has decreased over the years because of the pesticides that cause many diseases to humans over

time

such

as the farmers use to protect the vegetables and

fruits

, and that affects

people

health

Additionally

, the chemicals in vegetables and

fruits

use it alter their shape and identify their benefits

for example

many

people

have started to notice that some

fruits

have changed and become rubbery

due to

chemicals

also

the shape and taste of bananas have modified over

time

this

is scientifically proven.

Furthermore

, advanced technology affects the routine life of

people

and makes it unhealthy.

such

as computers making humans in chairs most of the

time

to work or play, without getting out to get some vitamins, which causes obesity,

Due to

a of lack movement.

In addition

people

stopped doing sports activities which improved their physical and psychological

health

, and because the technology

for example

people

have begun to prefer to stay at home with all the electronic activities in the house

instead

of sports activities. Ultimately,

This

essay discusses why

people

health

is likely to be lower in the future, and there are three main reasons for

this

, technological advances, chemicals in vegetables and

fruits

, and the use of pesticides in the food. We conclude that all of

this

affects human

health

in the long term, and the more we evolve, the less healthy we become, and I completely agree with

this

Submitted by reemaljuaidi8 on Sat Jun 15 2024

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task response

Provide a more comprehensive discussion of counterarguments or opposing views to present a balanced perspective. This can strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on clearly introducing each main point in the body paragraphs, and ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next for better coherence.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar. Some sentences are fragmented or unclear, which affects the readability and clarity of your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frame the argument well.

task response

You provided specific examples to support your points, notably when discussing the impact of chemicals in food and technological advancements on health.

task response

You have a clear position and stayed consistent in your argument throughout the essay, which strengthens your response to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Standard of health
2. Average
3. Lower
4. Future
5. Aging population
6. Chronic diseases
7. Sedentary lifestyle
8. Lack of exercise
9. Poor dietary habits
10. Environmental pollution
11. Technological advancements
12. Impact on health

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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that the Government should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people say the gap between rich and poor people is wider, as rich people become richer and poor people grow poorer. What problems could this situation cause and what measure can be done to address those problems?

Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.