Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing( for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras. In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development

Technology is a boon for mankind.In present time

machinery

Suggestion

the machinery

is burgeoning being used to monitor.

However

, masses are saying and doing

mobile call

Accept comma addition

mobile, call

up tracking and security cameras.In most of the cases, individuals being monitored are unaware

that is

happening; but I believe that there are various merits rather than demerits

;

Accept space

;

because with the advice of automation masses can do most of the thing from their home '

such

as telecommuting, online study, online shopping and people can read the news about the world by their gadgets. But demerits

also

exist about

this

statement, nowadays the rate of cybercrime is increasing

day

due to

machinery

and children are a misuse of their mobile

phone

To begin

with, these days masses are becoming a modern by

machinery

Accept space

There are various advantages about

machinery

Accept space

First

of all nowadays most of the nation is facing the problem of corona pandemic so student did not do their study, but with the help of technology kids easily restart their study

Accept space

also

those are private employee they do their work from home with the help of telecommuting. So it is a beneficial thing for children as well as the worker.

Additionally

Accept space

by mobile

phone

parents keep their

third

eye on children

also

they easily track the location of their kids

Accept space

Electronic gadgets have become a security man for every person.Apart from

this

, in modern era masses have curiosity to wear new brand so they easily purchased clothes from online, because in online website they provide huge discount on on occasions On the hand

Accept space

every coin has a two faces on the same manner, there are few of disadvantage about

this

statement

Accept space

In materialists

era most

Accept comma addition

era, most

of the masses using online apps for paying money so

that is

why the level of cyber crime is increasing

day

because few of people do the misuse of technology.

Last

but not the least

Accept space

every

parents

Suggestion

parent

has a busy schedule in their life so they provide a mobile

phones

Suggestion

phone

or their kids but offspring do the misuse of their cell

phone

.They are always playing online games with their friends and do online chatting

Accept space

These types of activities harmful for kids because due to mobile

phone

children spoil their eye brightness

Accept space

also

they has become under the obese.

to a very great extent or degree

due to

obese

Suggestion

obesity

, they look like an unhealthy and grogginess To conclude

Accept space

every thing has a merit or demerits, but in

this

situation advantages are outweigh than disadvantages. Nowadays cell contact is an essential thing for every person because with the help of automation masses are aware about society as well world, but when someone uses a mobile

phone

in a whole

day

then

they spoil their colorblindness

Submitted by rajeev kumar on Fri Jul 10 2020

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

446 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

These days, school should focus more on producing young people who have the skills required to join the workforce, rather than focusing on academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

Some people believe that teenager should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time . This can be benefit teenagers and the community as well . To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?