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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some countries are struggling with an increase in the rate of crime. Many People think that having more police on the streets is the only way to reduce crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #rate #crime #people #police #streets
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Some people think that the best way to help reduce
crime
 is increasing the number of
police
 on every road. I agree that more
police
 could deal with
crime
 easier, but I do not think
that is
 the only way to solve
this
 problem. There are some reasons why allocating more
police
 is one of the best ways to decrease
crime rate
Suggestion
crime rates
the crime rate
.
First
, more
police
 could help prevent criminals from committing
crime
 at crowded places. As some studies show that offenders can commit a
crime
 because of the lack of surveillance, so the more control, the more secure.
Second
,
this
 enables residents to report when they see the risk of crimes.There are many cases where citizens have informed
police
 that something
happens but
Accept comma addition
happens, but
 the
police
 come too late and
as a result
, it led to some adverse consequences. Apart from the practical benefits expressed above, I believe that there are many other ways that help decrease
crime
 rate.
Instead
 of using a large amount of money and so many people, the authorities can use technology as one of
methods
Suggestion
the methods
. To illustrate, by installing CCTV, the
streets
Suggestion
Streets
 will be put under control twenty-four hours per day,
this
 can
also
 save money and human power.
Then
 the authorities could develop the economy and focus on jobs for citizens. Some studies show that almost the motivation of committing
crime
 is money, so develop the economy and
also
 focus on jobs
,
Accept space
,
as an effect, there will be less unemployment and
therefore
, less
crime
. In conclusion, while allocating more
police
 on
streets
Suggestion
the streets
 is one of the best methods to decrease
crime
 and
crime rate
Suggestion
crime rates
, I believe that there are so many other ways which are
also
 helpful and useful.
Submitted by Nguyen Dinh Ngoc Linh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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