IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
Nowadays
this
 issue is becoming increasingly popular. The growing number of people consider that smart dressing style of the workers can create a controversy assumption, while others believe that the works done is more valued than their look. I partly agree with it and in my point of view good looking is important,
nevertheless
, the quality of
work
also
 plays a crucial role. On the one side, it is thought by some smart people that uniform presents itself as a dress code. Many people's
first
 judging toward someone else is based on how they are looking.
In other words
, it determines whether a worker pays attention to himself or not, make people
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 will he be able to be professional in his job.
As a result
, if the
first
 impression of people about employees is good, these employees' organizations will get more
work
 contracts, by which they can obtain benefits to become successful.
On the other hand
, some companies argue that an employee's appearance is less essential than his
work
 quality.
Although
a
Suggestion
A
 worker is well dressed, he does not have suitable
work
 skills and hard working.
Therefore
, he will become the cause of the defect or failure of his company and after that, the reputation of it will surely decline which can lead to being knocked out. To sum up, even though the employee is dressed well, it does not mean he is skilled enough and has appropriate knowledge.
It se
Suggestion
Issue
ems to me that it would be better if all business institutions carefully considered all benefits and drawbacks of
this
 issue
Submitted by Sarah Smith on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: