In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

In certain

countries people

Accept comma addition

countries, people

place priority on

house

ownership as opposed to living in temporary rented accommodation.

This

phenomenon can be attributed to a host of valid reasons, and from my viewpoint

this

is a positive trend.

First

and foremost, in some regions like South East

Asia where

Accept comma addition

Asia, where

people are influenced by traditional standards, owning a

house

is synonymous with settling down which is considered the ultimate goal in life. In their conception,

Suggestion

the house provides a

house

provides the sense of belonging which is crucial for milestones

such

as getting married or welcoming the birth of a child.

In addition

, in a materialistic society, the size and condition of the

house

can be a prominent criteria to define one’s social standing. In fact, people who own luxurious mansions often receive admiration and recognition, while people who lead a nomadic life are considered to belong to the lower class. Personally, I believe

this

is a positive trend for several reasons. For one thing, in order to achieve the goal of being a homeowner,

besides

extra hard work, essential skills like financial management are

also

required.

Therefore

, having a clear objective of owning a

house

can be beneficial to people’s personal development.

Secondly

although

purchasing a

house

can be prohibitively costly, having your own

house

can bring economic benefits which

Suggestion

are

worth exerting effort on.

For example

, homeowners can lease unused space, or sell it when necessary. These are privileges that tenants do not have. In conclusion, because of tradition and social judgement,

homeownership

has become popular among people.

Although

purchasing a

house

can be expensive, I still believe it is an optimal choice for the benefits brought about in terms of personal development and economic gain.

Submitted by vân on Sun Jul 12 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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