IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

some people say that young people are much more influenced by their friends than their parents or their teachers.Do you agree or disagree ?

#people #friends #parents #teachers
Young minds are evolving and
hence
 open to accept information and suggestions as compared to adults. While it is believed by some that children get more influenced by their comrades than their parents or teachers, some argue with the same. I agree with the former for the reasons mentioned below.
Firstly
, as kids grow, they tend to spend more
time
 with their friends when they are studying together, travelling to school and classes and even while playing.
As a result
, they interact more with them and are acceptable to ideas coming from friends as compared to parents and teachers.
Moreover
, parents have day jobs and as
such
 tend to spend only limited quality
time
 with their kids.
For instance
, statistics shared by the MIT research Center states, individuals in the age of 7-18 spend 90 percent of their
time
 with their buddies than with parents.
Secondly
, kids of the same generation tend to think alike.
Furthermore
, they have been through similar experiences and circumstances which makes them even more likely to Listen to each other's viewpoints.
For example
, students who failed in maths will share similar experiences with fellow failed students. There is no doubt that, parents and teachers are indeed better experienced in handling failures, but still they will listen to their fellow mates,
Lastly
, to conclude, I agree that young minds are more influenced by their friends than their parents or teachers because they relate more to their friends and tend to spend more
time
 with them which gives them an opportunity to express themselves better to friends than to family.
Submitted by pk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: