Some people think the government should focus on improving the economy of the country. Other people think the government should focus on social services such as health and education programs. Which statement do you agree with? Explain and provide examples to support your opinion.

#people #government #focus #economy #country #services #health #education #programs #support

It is believed that government focus should be on economy

improvement

, whereas, others think social services

such

as health and education systems are more important to be focused on. I agree to focus on the economic

system

, and I will talk about my reasons.

Firstly

, economic

system

is a significant element for developing country and should be priority to work on it, because it is about balance between people’s income and their expenses and ease their life and no more homeless exists. All these features are related to a great economy.

For example

, if an economical

system

is formulated and implemented in the country, people have jobs to fulfil their basic needs of food, clothing, and house,

Also

, there is enough resources to develop other social services.

Therefore

, concentration on economic should be prioritised.

Secondly

economic

Suggestion

the economic system

system

has a cycle that

need

Suggestion

needs

to be

work

Suggestion

working

well to have

constant

Suggestion

constantly

improve

Suggestion

improved

In other words

, by keeping focus on economic, and

improvement

, nations can think about

traveling

the act of going from one place to another

travelling

, sports, entertaining, socialising and saving that allows them to make come true their wishes,

for instance

, marriage and wedding party.

Moreover

this

circle brings stability to

economic

Suggestion

the economic system

system

and influence other aspects of

people life

Suggestion

a person's life

person's life

peoples' life

such

as their physical and mental health.

That is

why economy

improvement

is vital. In conclusion, having an effective economic

system

is a fundamental of developing a country and has priority to social services. Since, it paves the way to have a better life for the whole nation and continual

improvement

that lead to have a better social services as well.

Submitted by sahar on Mon Jul 13 2020

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

261 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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