IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You live in a small university town. Last week, you drove to a big city about two hours away to buy a new laptop at a good price. You worked on the laptop all week and finished writing a long assignment that is due shortly. However, this week, the laptop doesn't even switch on. Write to store.In your letter: •Tell the store where you live and what happened •Explain the problem with the laptop •State what action you would like the store to take

#university #town #week #city #two #hours #laptop #price #assignment #doesn #switch #store #•tell #•explain #•state #action
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Dear Sir or Madam I am writing my complaint about the
laptop
Use synonyms
 I received
last
Linking Words
 week.
This
Linking Words
laptop
Use synonyms
 has been running for about a week and I have finished my
However
Linking Words
, suddenly it broke down and didn'
t
Use synonyms
 even light up. I live in a small university town.I live far from  your store, but  I went  to buy it.  Because
of
Correct pronoun usage
of this
show examples
,many people praised your store. Unfortunately,
this
Linking Words
laptop
Use synonyms
 stopped working. I was very surprised.
However
Linking Words
, I used it for 1 week and even finished my work. I don'
t
Use synonyms
 even understand  what's wrong with
this
Linking Words
 Suddenly,
this
Linking Words
laptop
Use synonyms
 turned
of
Replace the word
off
show examples
, I tried a lot but it
doesn'
Wrong verb form
didn't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 turn on. I want to say that your store isn'
t
Use synonyms
 as good as it sounds. Please, buy the
laptop
Use synonyms
Then
Linking Words
, sell it to
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
.I would be grateful if you could give me a
a
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
full refund. I look forward to receiving a full refund. Sincerely, Kamola
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Consider providing a more detailed description of the problem with the laptop for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a single, clear idea to improve readability.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriate and polite.
task achievement
The letter covers all the necessary points requested by the prompt.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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