These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #health #doctors #medicine #lifestyle

Healthcare improvements have reduced the risk of so many serious illnesses that people nowadays tend to depend on their services. In fact, the values of keeping in shape

is almost forgotten

Suggestion

are almost forgotten

. I agree that doctors and medicine are considered to be the best method throughout the world today.

Firstly

, well-qualified doctors and the scientific researches on pharmaceuticals reassure people. It takes at least 5 or 6 years training to become a doctor and

also

scientists have to do many experiments on the medicine before putting it into uses.

For example

, the rubella vaccine is widely used around the world after

Suggestion

a 10

-year study

Accept space

Thanks to its application, 95% of the world population have been saved. It is clear that patients feel secure when they follow the advice of doctors to cure their disease.

Secondly

, building a healthy routine requires a lot of time and efforts while taking medicine helps people recover in a short period. Fitness

centers

Suggestion

Centers

have been established every corner of one city and attracted many people.

However

, they often give up after 1

month joining

Accept comma addition

month, joining

the sports

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

centre

because they get frustrated waiting for changes on their bodies. According to Queen's University's survey, only 10% participants continued the training course after the

first

month in SO gym. Obviously, people have a tendency to choose

the easier

Suggestion

the easy

path to keep fit which is making appointments with doctors rather than spending time

to do

Suggestion

doing

exercise regularly. In conclusion, the majority

invest

Suggestion

invests

for

Suggestion

health by taking medical care and pharmaceutical products

instead

of following healthy habits these days. I think it would be better if people participate in a health course or a sport club that helps to prevent illnesses because sometimes sickness cannot be cured.

Submitted by Nizamova on Mon Jul 13 2020

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people said professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training while other said they should be free to work in another country

Some educationalist think that international exchange visit will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do advantages outweight the disadvantages.

In recent years some countries have experienced vary rapid economic development. This has resulted in much higher standards of living in urban areas but not in the country sides. This situation may bring some problems for the country as a whole. What are the problems? How might they be reduced?