IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subjects. but others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or that they find the most interest. discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #teenagers #school #subjects #focus #interest
Education for the children starts almost at the age of 3 by parents.
That is
 important for their development in their body or mind. So the process until the elementary
school
 shows us the kids' capacity and their tendency. On the one hand, the lessons in the
school
 should attract the attention of the child. Because doing unwanted things would be just time-wasting. Generally, there are several lessons to focus on in
school
. We know that all are important to pass the exam. But another means the spared time for the things that interested in is less than intended. So the
school
 authority can make a regulation helping to divide the children by the skills. It would be a positive effect on children.
On the other hand
, if the child focuses on something good at that would be better because the choice makes them very successful in the future.
For example
, let's think a girl loves math lessons. She would be looking forward to those lessons to improve herself. Maybe she would get a job about math. Another advantage is the competition between the competitors. They push themselves to be the best in the class. In my opinion, children should choose what to want to do.
This
 chance should be given to them. They should shape the future by themselves. Of course, the parents have a huge role for them, but the major should be in the child's hands.
Submitted by yağmur alataş on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: