IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some cultures think old people are of higher value than the youth, while other cultures value the youth more. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#cultures #people #value #youth
A society is made of hard work and wisdom of the older generation as well as up and coming young people whose innovations help aid progress in many areas in current society.Many countries believe older people are the cornerstone in nations' development and has priceless value.Whereas others insist that
youth
 plays an indelible part in progress of everyday life in a
country
.I believe
youth
 are of greater value than older people as they play a crucial part in progress of current culture.
Firstly
, the significant wisdom of older people gained from the uncountable ups and downs faced by them throughout their life aids in the decision making process of the
country
.To illustrate, at the moment there are various countries with top management being older people.
For instance
, Dr
mahattier
,
Accept space
,
a Prime Minster of Malaysia is over 90 years old.
This
 is so that they can not only steer their
country
 away from bad decisions, but
also
 make beneficial policies for
country
Suggestion
countries
the country
 with their farsightedness gained from vicissitudes in life.
On the other hand
,
Accept space
,
young people have great value as they are creative and can think of novel ways to solve issues that has been plaguing people.These innovations are closely intertwined with automation, which they have grown together with since childhood.
THus they
Accept comma addition
Thus, they
Thus they
 the know the in and outs of
technology
 and use it to drive improvement of standard of living of people.To illustrate
,
Accept space
,
technological development,
such
 as trash robots to supplement cleaners
,
Accept space
,
internet banking to make the transaction easier using apps
such
 as pay now and pay
lah
 and green
technology
 to solve global warming are some proven ways the
youth
 are carving their worth in the current world. Another reason,
Youth
 are more valuable is that they are
also
 able to absorb wisdom from older people and combine it with
technology
 to
further
 think of new ways to solve problems, Conversly, older people are unable to do the same as
technology
 is harder to grasp as agile mind is required to learn new ways of working. In conclusion, I opine that
youth
 is imminent in current and future society as they can combine innovation with the age proven strategies came up with older people to bring forth advance in
country
Suggestion
the country
a country
.
Submitted by Thyagarajah Karuppiah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: