IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In an age of social media and technology, people’s relationships with each other often suffer. Discuss two reasons for this problem and suggest a solution.

#age #media #technology #people’s #relationships #two
The connections between people are negatively affected by various social media and technology.
This
 essay will discuss the primary reasons behind
this
 are mental disorders and extra
time
 spent on the internet.
However
, these issues can be resolved with personal satisfaction and limited use of social media. Let's begin with problems. Internet users see happy photos of their relatives and friends on various social media platforms,
consequently
 they start to compare their life with them and feel they are more happy compared to him.
This
 leads to them a mental disorder and start creating problems between each other.
Moreover
, people spent more
time
 on the internet and give less
time
 to their respective families, which create issues between them.
For example
, a recent study shows that, the majority of people use their mobile while having dinner with family, which creates some difference between them.
On the other hand
, above mentioned problems can be solved easily. People should give proper
time
 to their family. Regular face-to-face conversation and weekly holidays can resolve these problems in no
time
.
Secondly
, people should have the satisfaction and stop comparing them with others. They cannot judge people only with their photos and social media
status
a branch of applied mathematics concerned with the collection and interpretation of quantitative data and the use of probability theory to estimate population parameters
stats
. To conclude, spending more than required
time
 and mental disorder are the primary reasons for the relationship problem.
However
, an individual should have self-satisfaction and start giving enough
time
 with the family to resolve
this
 issue.
Submitted by test on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: