IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that to produce a happier society is to ensure that there is only a small difference on the earnings of the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #society #difference #earnings #members
At the outset of the new millennium, there has been a fierce debate over the concern that
country
's success is completely dependent on economic progress. Whereas, there are other factors
also
 which contributes in
development
Suggestion
the development
 of the
country
. All the aspects would be scrutinized in the below paragraphs. It is irrefutable to say that economic progress is the indispensable need for any
country
 to grow.
Firstly
, the international trade business caters the most economically and adds
one
 in a developed
country
. Better the trade and international relations among the countries better the situation of a
country
 is.
Secondly
, financial
growth
also
 helps in leading a society and prevents unemployment.
Finance sector
Suggestion
The finance sector
 is
also
one
 of the major aspect in counting economic
growth
.
Finally
, economic
growth
also
 has a great impact on health and well being of the nation.
However
, there are
plethora
Suggestion
a plethora
 of other factors which adds up in
growth
Suggestion
the growth
 of a nation. Paradoxically, the other factors like education, minority sector, environmental issues are
also
 the
one
 which sum up in economic
growth
. Better the educational facilities, better will be the youth of the nation and
future
Suggestion
the future
. As it is always said that youth is the future of the
country
, so we should always give them the best of education to lead the world.
Further
, giving
prefrences
a strong liking
preference
 to minority sector
also
 leads a better society.
Furthermore
, infrastructure facilities and other environmental issues
also
 caters in economic
growth
. To recapitulate, there are
numerous factor
Suggestion
numerous factors
a numerous factor
 in
success
Suggestion
the success
 of a
country
.
Economic
Suggestion
Economist
Economics
 is
one
 of the major
one but
Accept comma addition
one, but
 we should
also
 develop the other factors
also
 to become a successful
country
 in the world.
Submitted by Anuja Dixit on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: