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Band 5.5

It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime is a direct influence of the increase in violence in media. To what extent do you agree with the above statement?

#crime #influence #violence #media
People
believes
Suggestion
believe
 that the rise in
violence
 in the digital
space
 is because of the rise in juvenile
crime
. In my opinion, there is no direct relationship between
violence
 in the digital
space
viz
by way of
via
-a-via juvenile
crime
 and rarely both can influence each other.
This
 essay will describe how
violence
 in
cyber
space
 has nothing to do with juvenile
crime
.
Firstly
, the
violence
 in the digital
space
 are more related to
cyber
crime
 or computer assisted
crime
 which is rarely related to juvenile
crime
.
Secondly
,
this
crime
 committed in the
cyber
a computer network consisting of a worldwide network of computer networks that use the TCP/IP network protocols to facilitate data transmission and exchange
cyberspace
space
, not in the physical
space
,
however it
Accept comma addition
however, it
 creates psychological and emotional impact on the victim. The
violence
 in
digital
Suggestion
the digital space
space
are
Suggestion
is
 more likely to be
radicalisation
, fake news
probaganda
information that is spread for the purpose of promoting some cause
propaganda
, online abuses,
threatening etc
Accept comma addition
threatening, etc.
threatening etc.
 which has nothing to do with the juvenile
crime
.
Thus
, related
violence
 in media with juvenile
crime
 is not appropriate.
On the other hand
, the juvenile
crime
 is
crime
 committed by a child who is below 18
years but
Accept comma addition
years, but
 the
defination
a concise explanation of the meaning of a word or phrase or symbol
definition
 is different from country to country.
Although
 some might
aruge
present reasons and arguments
argue
 that the children might a
crime
 in the
cyber
space
 owing to that it is very less in number and is not
major factor
Suggestion
the major factor
a major factor
.
Further
,
violence
 in
cyber
space
are
Suggestion
is
 more planned and executed very significantly to attack the
victim which
Accept comma addition
victim, which
 is very rare for a child to do. In conclusion,
crime
 committed by children has no relation with respect to
violence
 in
media
Suggestion
the media
 as well as there is no direct influence between both crimes.
Thus
, I disagree with the statement.
Submitted by Manikandan S on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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