Success in life depends on hard work and determination or on other factors like money and personal appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#success #life #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

There have been ongoing debates that whether

success

relies on rigorous efforts or finance and personality.

the

Suggestion

The

general consensus is that being a successful person, everyone has to do a lot of hard

work

. Other

enchlon;

however

, postulate that other factors

such

as financial budget and external appearance are

also

play

Suggestion

playing

a pivotal role

for

Suggestion

getting

success

Conversly

Suggestion

Conversely

Accept space

I believe that hard

work

is the only key to become

successful person

Suggestion

a successful person

because it is a reality of life.

Suggestion

the one hand, some masses think that getting

success

is totally reliant on money as well as physical experience.

they

Suggestion

They

claim that money has become the basic necessity of life. Affluent people have multifarious occupations,

such

as entrepreneurship, doctors and

engineer especially

Accept comma addition

engineer, especially

in developing countries as destitute people are often lagged behind just because of nepotism despite having countless abilities. They

also

deem that there are myriad professions, particularly tinsel world and many more, which are giving more preference to beautiful girls or handsome boys.

Suggestion

a result, folks consider that

socio-economic

involving social as well as economic factors

socioeconomic

disparity

also

exist when people try to get jobs.

Suggestion

the other hand, there is no shadow of doubt that almost all people have to go through pain and anxiety in order to taste the pursuit of

success

and happiness. People cannot achieve their ambitions unless they do

work

diligently.

Moreover

, since it has been rightly said that curiosity Leeds towards

success

, human beings have to

work

hard with perseverance

for

Suggestion

getting

success

. Narendra modi, to

site

make reference to

cite

as an example, is one of the legendary people who was born in destitute family and his father used to sell tea in order to meet

both ends well

Suggestion

both ends as well

Suggestion

doing hard

work

, he had been become the chief minister of Gujarat before taking The oath of the current prime Minister of India.

consequently

Suggestion

Consequently

, working hard paves the way to become a successful person. In conclusion,

although

some masses give more preference to money and external appearance while getting jobs, I fervently believe that hard

work

, determination and perseverance are the best ways to get

success

as hard

work

not only ensure the victory but prosperity

also

Submitted by Navdeep on Tue Jul 14 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

352 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Success in life depends on hard work and determination or on other factors like money and personal appearance. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.