IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Most people today own a smart phone. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, the whole world experienced one of the greatest technological inventions, the
smartphones
Use synonyms
, which significantly influenced
humans
Suggestion
human
 activity in different fields.
Although
Linking Words
 mobile phones have some shortcomings, from an individual perspective, smartphone is a positive
development
Use synonyms
 which can lead to the substantial improvement in various fields. The smartphone
development
Use synonyms
 considerably impacted business.
Firstly
Linking Words
, with the
development
Use synonyms
 of these devices, in business industries developed a network for customers in their devices.
by
Suggestion
By
 which they can get instant feedbacks on their products and services.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
payments
Suggestion
the payments
 could be sent and received by
wireless terminal
Suggestion
the wireless terminal
 in their
smartphones
Use synonyms
. Another major advantage is to students. More students agree that with the help of
Use synonyms
smartphones they
Accept comma addition
smartphones, they
 can create documents as well as immediately upload them to
teacher’s electronic folder
Suggestion
the teacher’s electronic folder
teacher’s electronic folders
a teacher’s electronic folder
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, teachers can view the documents instantly,
also
Linking Words
 keep them permanently stored.
Moreover
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,
this
Linking Words
 gadget has proved an asset in
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
also
Linking Words
.
ln
Suggestion
On
Ln
this
Linking Words
 handheld
device
Use synonyms
, doctors can access patient information,
research medical
Accept comma addition
research, medical
 literature, and securely communicate with patients and colleagues.
However
Linking Words
, the
device
Use synonyms
 has some drawback over the conventional
cellphone
Suggestion
cell phone
 it has gradually replaced. The major drawback of
Use synonyms
device
Suggestion
the device
 is that it is addictive and spending too much on it can isolate us from the real world. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that people get stuck in feedback loops, exchanging their time for momentary bursts of dopamine, no different from any other drug addict.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
device
Use synonyms
 isn’t too reliable, as you aren’t sure whom you are talking to, unless it’s a video call. To sum up, the pros of modern communication technologies are far more than their cons. So, I think that
development
Use synonyms
 of
smartphones
Use synonyms
 can be positive
also
Linking Words
 I suppose that it will be
favorably
showing approval
favourably
 influenced in our future.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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