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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Some
parents
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 have a rigid thought process, when it comes to
school
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,
to think
Change the verb form
thinking
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 that
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children
Change noun form
children's
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 purpose is to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school
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, and only gain an education,
however
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,there are people who want their
children
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's
school
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, to be equally entertaining. My personal opinion is that
schools
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 should be balanced in terms
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 education & entertainment.
Hence
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, I agree with the
schools
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 will provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
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equal attention
on
Change preposition
to
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 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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things.
Firstly
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 ,
Schools
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those
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are focusing
to be
Change preposition
on being
show examples
 more entertaining,will not be beneficial to the students in the long run.Studies have shown,
so
Correct word choice
that so
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 many
Schools
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
keeps
Correct subject-verb agreement
keep
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 on charging fees, for so many events and programs, in the name of a child's development and grooming of personality, but in reality, it's a lucrative way to earn money from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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innocent
parents
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, who work around the clock, for their
children
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.
Also
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, many times
children
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 get so involved in
suchco-curricular
Correct your spelling
such co-curricular
 activities, that most of the crucial time,
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
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 wasted on
this
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 rather than on academics, which is
also
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 an important part of the
School
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's activity .
On the other hand
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 , if we look at these
Schools
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, which are purely focused on academics and achieving good grades,
that is
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 a whole misconception for many
parents
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.
Parents
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 can't be limited by just preparing their
children
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 to get good grades, by doing so they will be hampering their social skills, interpersonal and
overall
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 personality, which is
also
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 an essential part of their life, and which will be useful at every stage of their soul, for e.g If a student who is a rank holder in the class,
however
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, not able to speak in front of the whole class, during an inter-
school
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 competition. It will damage his confidence
,
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apply
show examples
 and can lead to many other problems at a later stage.
To conclude
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, equal importance should, be given to both the areas, that are
Educational
Replace the word
Education
show examples
 and entertainment, to groom the child's
overall
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 personality.
Therefore
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 , balanced importance should be given
in
Change preposition
to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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educational institutions.
In addition
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, we can
also
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 see from the thorough studies that implementing
such
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 kind of practice
,
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apply
show examples
 will mould the child to be successful in every situation of his growth

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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