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Band 6.5

In many countries, traditional customs are being lost. Why do you think is this happening? What schools and parents can do to stop it?

#countries #customs #schools #parents
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In
this
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 day and age,
culture
Use synonyms
 and tradition of many communities all over the world are dying. Family and educational reasons could be part of the root
causes
Suggestion
cause
 of
this
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 steady decline. In my firm conviction, parents and schools should take some serious action to keep the traditions alive. There are various reasons regarding the loss of traditional values in many countries. The most crucial factor could be rapid
globalization which
Accept comma addition
globalization, which
 contributes to the exchange of cultural values. The
interconnectedness
Suggestion
 and expansion of cultural ties between people, particularly due to migration caused the young generation to learn from each other’s fashion and habits. Another reason might be that in
this
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 modern life, parents do not emphasize on their traditional customs in their children upbringing
.
Accept space
.
 With
this
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 in mind, technology development and new social media,
such
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 as Facebook and Instagram have a significant influence on the young generation who did not grow with strong cultural values. The loss of cultural identity,
therefore
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, is continuing dangerously by modernization. It seems
culture
Use synonyms
 and traditional customs are disappearing due to lack of efforts to preserve and transmit. By the large, the strong association between parents and schools in terms of education play a major role in
this
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 subject. The important function is the preservation of
culture
Use synonyms
 or social heritage. Parents and schools should inculcate the traditional values and morals into the tender mind of
pupils particularly
Accept comma addition
pupils, particularly
 in primary education where a child begins to respect the importance of life.
In addition
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 to the preservation of
culture
Use synonyms
, they should
also
Linking Words
 try to transmit the existing cultural experiences and values from one generation to another through various programs and practices. Preservation and transmission of cultural identity by parents and schools in contemporary society have measured as the highest achievement of civilization. TO conclude, it is obvious that in our modern and hectic life, the value of traditional customs is on the verge of disappearing.
Although
Linking Words
 globalization and
technology
Suggestion
technological
 advancement could be contributing factors to the current loss of
culture
Use synonyms
, parents and schools should take some actions to keep traditional customs alive and transmit to the
next
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 generations.
Submitted by Afi on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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