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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is quite right that top sports people should be paid a lot of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#right #sports #people #money
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It seems indisputable that top sports people are often paid huge salaries. Many people feel these salaries are paid in return for a fairly small contribution to
society
Use synonyms
.
However
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, in order to decide whether
this
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 situation is right or not, we need to consider other factors and not solely the remuneration paid to these sports people. On the face of it, it seems that certain top sports people earn enormous sums of money for doing something they enjoy and for doing something which does not contribute greatly to our
society
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, if we compare these salaries to the top salaries of doctors or nurses, we would see a huge difference. It seems to be
this
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 kind of comparison which, for many people, highlights the unfairness of
this
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 situation.
On the other hand
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, the fact that people enjoy their work and the fact that they are paid much more than people in other professions is largely irrelevant.
In addition
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, in
this
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 case, what some people see as a small contribution to
society
Use synonyms
 may not, in reality, be so small.
Consider
Accept comma addition
Consider, for
for example
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, the income and the employment which some top sports people create. While we can see that they are benefiting personally, the economy is
also
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 benefiting. We should
also
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 not forget that these people are role models for young people, and the not-so young, not only in sport but in other areas of life, too.
This
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 contribution is clearly impossible to measure, but clearly valuable. In conclusion, while it is easy to understand why the salaries of top sports is often criticised, we need to keep in mind the bigger picture and the contributions to
society
Use synonyms
 they make including tangible contributions to the economy as well as intangible contributions they make as role models.
Submitted by Tanvir Rahman on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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