writing about the rate of the crime among people specially young people?

#rate #crime #people

the

Suggestion

The

number of people who committed crimes have been sharply increased in modern

society

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specially

to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common

especially

among youngsters

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regardless to the level of the

society

they live, which mainly few basic factors are considered as the cause of displaying crimes

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Most of crimes are being evidenced from families who are severely

suffered

Suggestion

suffering

social economic issues. Poverty possibly is the most reason for committing crimes

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such

as theft or burglary

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Those who committed more serious

crimes namely

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crimes, namely

, murder

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tackle with serious psychological disorders

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and that would probably be their motive. Turning to possible solutions, an obvious step is to reduce the rate of unemployment in the

society

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by supporting new

start-ups

the act of setting in operation

startups

startups'

startup's

as well as,

labor

a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages

labour

rights

On the other

hand there

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hand, there

should be more restricted rules for gun possession.In most democratic countries,

such

as The USA

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in which gun ownership is not banned

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this

freedom causes some phenomenon

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For instance

, in 2018 a school student killed 12 students and his teacher.

Suggestion

we took these steps

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the amount of crime would diminish

automotically

in a reflex manner

automatically

. A

second

remedy might be the

Universities

Suggestion

University's

autority

the power or right to give orders or make decisions

authority

authorities

austerity

in order to offer more educational funds to people

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who are partly considered as "the poor"

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since

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for

educating can

apparentely

from appearances alone

apparently

guaranteed the job

opportiunity

a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances

opportunity

opportunities

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though Universities could be able to

paid

Suggestion

pay

-job experiences to its students

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In summary

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with cooperation between the governments and the Universities

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people can benefit from its job satisfactions and the

society

can observe less crime though.

Submitted by mary on Wed Jul 15 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

247 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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writing about the rate of the crime among people specially young people?

Fully explain your ideas

The high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising but not the real need of the society where such products are sold. Do you agree or disagree?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be awarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Your workplace requires an interpreter to translate from one language to another during meetings. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter recommend someone to act as an interpreter; explain why the person is qualified for that role; say how the person can be contacted.