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Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia.As many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#childhood #obesity #australia #two #thirds #children #schools #responsibility #students #amount #exercise
Nowadays there are very few women in top positions of the most of life scopes, business, politics,
administration
Accept comma addition
administration, although
although
 today women are
prepare
Suggestion
prepared
 and have the same education of men and there are two crucial reasons why
this
 situation continues happening.
Firstly
, we live in a macho society where men in top positions choose men to replace them and to occupy similar positions due to men think women are weak and they do not believe in their abilities.
For
example in
Accept comma addition
example, in
 Colombia there are approximately five politic
party
Suggestion
parties
 with leading men that choose their men colleagues and just a few women to be in there,
as a result
 the congress have 260 men and 30 women.
On the other hand
, managers think women focus on the family wellness like the education and the care of children, cleaning and preparation of food more than in the
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 atmosphere, due to the lack of opportunities for women there are some countries like Ecuador, Perú and Venezuela where 70% of women are
housewife
Suggestion
housewives
a housewife
.
Lastly
, companies are very warned and try to
save the
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save, the
 more money than they could and in some situations women implies pregnancy money support, wasted time and money in training the person to replace her, for all of
this
 many companies get the best opportunities and the top positions for men. In conclusion women have the abilities and skills to reach
top position
Suggestion
the top position
top positions
, to contribute
in
Suggestion
to
 the success of any
company but
Accept comma addition
company, but
 nowadays it is very hard because of the macho society and differences in interests and thoughts.
Submitted by Mauricio Vargas on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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