IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

1. Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #work #organization #life #organizations
In the modern world, people are chasing different goals and looking for better perspectives to accomplish their career aspirations.
However
, most of them tend to stumble upon
inextricable dilemma
Suggestion
an inextricable dilemma
 about whether it is the right decision to stick to one company for good or not? From my point of view, versatility would be a fantastic solution – it lets you express yourself to the fullest. When a fresh graduate finishes the university, he is most likely to choose the most financially rewarding position, e.g.
digital
Suggestion
Digital
 content creator. Most people in their early 20s are looking forward to solidly standing on the ground,
instead
 of bringing enthusiasm to work.
As a result
, entry-level specialists tend to burn out only after a few months spent in the workplace. The effect is mostly provoked by a disability to equalize the work-life balance and tremendously high expectations.
Therefore
, within a period of professional growth, some individuals try to find their true passion when working for a myriad of organizations.
However
, we may witness another group of people who are not willing to change their mother organizations in any future. Comparing various experiences, some individuals are immensely lucky to find a perfect company at
first
 shot. The chosen place might have offered wonderful career perspectives, e.g.
the
Suggestion
The
 ability to plan their schedule.
Additionally
, some companies tend to provide for pleasant annual wage bonuses, depending on the years of work experience. To sum up,
this
 essay covered a handful of bullet points about why some individuals choose to stay loyal to one organization for ages when the other ones keep changing the companies. The major emphasis was put on the aging generations when younger people are looking forward to being financially stable and older people have already gotten acquainted with their comfort zone.
Nonetheless
, as a generally versatile person, I would not prefer to stick to one company for good as it would prevent me from self-development.
Submitted by Ash Leigh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
What to do next:
Look at other essays: