Some people think that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A successful nation is when different culture and ages are united. Some people believe that

music

is a good method to unite people. I agree that

music

is an important tool,

however

, in my opinion, involvement in every festive celebration is a good way to bring people together. There are many types of

music

Accept comma addition

music, for

for

example

, R&B, classic, instrumental, pop, rock and many more.

Music

plays a role to unite people from different age and culture.

For

example

, a concert could bring everyone together in a place. When they enjoy the

music

together, they will be close to each other. The sense of belonging created would bring the nation together from various culture and age group.

However

in addition

this

, I believe that if everyone took part in

celebration

Suggestion

celebrating

a festive together, it would create more understanding and love towards each other despite the difference.

For

example

, a Malay joined in the famous lion dance during

chinese

a native or inhabitant of Communist China or of Nationalist China

Chinese

new year may create the sense of unity and love. In conclusion, it is important for a nation to be unite from various age group and cultures.

Music

do play

Suggestion

does play

a role in

this but

Accept comma addition

this, but

I believe there are other good ways

for

example

, to join in festive celebration.

Submitted by Ezyana Hani Effandie on Thu Jul 16 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

207 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural diversity
harmony
integration
bridging gaps
foster
ignite
embrace
communicate
celebrate
appreciate
inclusivity
universal language
emotional resonance
shared experiences
intercultural dialogue
intergenerational connections
cultural exchange
catalyst

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Some people think that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together? To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries the amount of crimes increasing .what is the causes of this problem?what is the suggested solutions?

Some people think that governments should provide unemployed citizens with free telephones and opportunities for using internet to help them to find a job. What to extent do you agree or disagree?

in some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the houses or building they live in. what are the reasons for this? how can people research this?