IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

more and more companies are allowing employees to work at home.Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#companies #employees #work #home #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 tech-savvy world, multinational companies are encouraging work from
home
Use synonyms
to
Suggestion
with
 their employee.
However
Linking Words
, I believe, their harmful impact outweigh the benefits. Office
life
Use synonyms
 gives active
life
Use synonyms
 to
working person
Suggestion
the working person
working people
, while working at
home
Use synonyms
 provides sedentary
Use synonyms
life-style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
lifestyles
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, a person may have to face various health related problem.
For example
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
obesity.By working from
home
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
an employee just sitting in front of
computer
Suggestion
a computer
the computer
computers
 and doing his task.So, without any physical movement he would get inactive
life
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 may lead to high-blood pressure and diabetes.The ultra-
violate
any of numerous low-growing violas with small flowers
violet
 rays from computers cause severe
eye-sight
normal use of the faculty of vision
eyesight
 damage. A person
get
Suggestion
gets
has got
 monotonous
life
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 working situation.
Firstly
Linking Words
, he would
detached
Suggestion
detach
 from his office environment because, neither he has any competition nor any friends while working at
home
Use synonyms
.Sometimes, he may get into depression due to the loneliness.
Secondly
Linking Words
, an employee become more and more rely on technological gadgets.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
he gets easily access of any difficulties.
Hence
Linking Words
, human's do not need to do brain storming to get answers
of
Suggestion
to
 his questions.Owing to the fact that, companies which are providing more work from
home
Use synonyms
 facilities are not fruitful for employees. In conclusion, work at
office
Suggestion
the office
offices
 provides physical and mental activities, whereas from
home
Use synonyms
 diminish
this
Linking Words
movements
Suggestion
movement
 and working man may have to face detrimental effects due to
this
Linking Words
.
Submitted by vishwa sagar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: