IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that the Internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are becoming more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #internet #communities
Many people argue that how the influence in of the
internet
 on society is. In my opinion, while there are benefits to connect people with each other, I believe that the
Internet
 is making communication barrier in the community. On the one hand, people are brought closer together by
Internet
 obviously.
Firstly
, the
internet acts a
Suggestion
internet acts as a
 medium for shy people to express their opinions or emotions. One good illustration of
this
 is that youngsters express their love and emotions for their parents by creating a video and posting to Facebook or by sending messages
instead
 of verbally speaking.
Secondly
, owing to the
Internet
, we can connect with many people no matter where they are. In fact, many Vietnamese oversea students cannot go home for Tet holiday but they can make video calls to their families and chat like they are together.
On the other hand
, the
Internet
 is the cause of the isolation between people for some reasons. Many people are so dependent on the
internet
 that they cannot communicate normally in real life due to the hesitation of communication. When someone comes to a strange place, he tends to open his phone and surf Facebook rather than talking to other people. In
additionally
, people often
talk
carry out
take
 less with each other because they often spend almost time on the
internet
.
For example
, the development of
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 and technology devices makes family members only find interesting things or care about things in a social network. They don't even talk to each other during meals to watch online videos or read stories on the
internet
 with their phones. In conclusion, I consider that while the
Internet
 has numerous merits, it is still a factor that negatively affects social communication.
Submitted by Quỳnh Châm Trịnh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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